Life feels unstable; you don’t know if one “wrong” word or action will send your partner into a rage

Every day feels like the relationship could be over, but for no particular reason

Constantly second guessing yourself and worried about what you are saying and doing

Feeling like you can’t relax in the relationship

Fights over nothing and everything

Your tone, your look, your presence is an aggravation

Not feeling safe, secure or supported

Never sure if they are coming or going with constant threats to break up

Ignoring messages including calls, texts, and on social media

Ignoring you at home and treating you like an annoyance (different than taking space or quiet time)

No showing to planned meals, events or commitments

Not caring if you are sick- offering no help, comfort or support

Your partner giving their all to everyone except you

Rolling their eyes when you share a feeling, opinion or need

Flirting with others in front of you and accusing you of being jealous, crazy, insecure, and controlling if you dare to speak up

Flirting with others behind your back acting as if single

Refusing to plan anything with you

Abandoning you while out at night and not caring if you are safe or get home safely

Dropping plans when anything comes up or anyone asks them to do something

Withholding affection and comfort

Withholding sex to punish you and it is only on their terms and timetable

Lack of responsiveness- you could be laying bleeding on the floor and they wouldn’t notice or care

Lack of attention to your life

Walking away, no eye contact, or getting on their phone while you speak

Doesn’t make an effort to ask about your dreams, goals, needs, or desires

Turning to their parents for decision vs. you as their partner

Trashing you to their family, co-workers and women at work painting you as this terrible person they are putting up with

Using this idea of “we” (imaginary committee) to gang up against you

Values opinion of co-workers, strangers, friends, EVERYONE except you, even in regards to parenting your own kids together

Silent treatments (not quiet time)- refusing all regular communication and cutting off all contact even when you share a home

No energy for sex, but plenty of energy for porn

Constant belittling remarks that put you down

Mocking or mimicking you

Getting angered or disgusted by you getting sick, sad or having any sort of issue

Constantly pointing out things they don’t like regarding your appearance

Feeling disposable

Will offer very little encouragement, but expect lots of encouragement from you

Don’t care about your wins/successes or supporting your small victories